- Personal Development -

How to Become a Super Attractor

Best-selling author and motivational speaker Gabby Bernstein talks about her new book, Super Attractor, and how to overcome our fear mentality.

Gabby Bernstein's new book, Super Attractor, is shown, along with a quote from her.

For many years I’ve led a training called the Spirit Junkie Masterclass. This training helps spiritual people gain the confidence and business-building tools to inspire others by doing what inspires them. It attracts people from all professions and backgrounds. I’ve met lawyers, yogis, life coaches, therapists, nurses, makeup artists, and more. But they all start the training with one common desire: to make an impact in the world and be abundant doing it.

My students begin their Spirit Junkie Masterclass journey revved up, inspired, and excited to step into their power. But I’ve noticed a number of common fears and forms of resistance at the beginning of the training. Many students don’t feel like they’re good enough or have enough resources to do the big work they want to do.

This fear mentality shows up in all of us, especially when we’re on the precipice of something great. Fear of not having enough and fear of not being enough are both major blocks to our Super Attractor power. Many people suffer from feelings of lack that have been ingrained in them since childhood. Or they constantly compare themselves to others and see everything as a competition. I’ve fallen prey to these thoughts and behaviors, and I’m sure you have too.

When you’re envious of what someone else has, or when you see someone as somehow better than you because of what they have, you lower your energetic vibration. These feelings of comparison and judgment cause us to vibrate at a low frequency, repelling the very thing we want.

The fear, lack, and comparison I saw in my Spirit Junkie Masterclass students are things I took very seriously. I recognized these blocks as ones I had struggled with too, and I looked at the ways I had cleared them in my own life. I then adjusted the training to have a strong focus on confidence and alignment with the Universe.

In order for my students to serve in the big, meaningful ways they desired, they needed to release the beliefs that held them back and kept their vibrations low. I started by helping them understand how their lack and comparisons were blocking their Super Attractor power.

Here are the seven blocks I identified in my students. We all have these blocks, and they show up in sneaky ways. This is an opportunity to get honest with yourself. We can’t harness our attracting power until we know how we block it. Don’t be afraid of these blocks, as they’re common and most of us are unconscious of them. Our awareness is what heals the patterns that hold us back from being Super Attractors.

BLOCK #1: BELIEVING IN LACK

If you harbor feelings of not being enough or not having enough, you expend a lot of effort trying to prove to the world that you are enough. All that effort blocks the flow of the Universe. When we spend our energy trying to prove ourselves to the world, we lose track of feeling good — because we’re trying so hard to feel good enough. The constant attempts to feel good enough come off as needy energy. This low-level energy repels the things you want. It repels the support of other people, it repels your own creative ideas, and it repels inspiration from the Universe. The time and energy you pour into trying to prove your worthiness become part of the reason why you don’t receive what you want. The great news is that there is a way out of this lack mentality.

BLOCK #2: THINKING THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TO GO AROUND

The idea that there’s not enough to go around is a pervasive fear. In this fear state, we struggle to get what we want, and we take pride in our overachiever behavior. We believe that we have to get as much as we can before someone else takes it. We imagine a zero-sum situation in which there’s only so much to go around. This mentality, while it might spur us into action, can just as likely paralyze us. Many people avoid taking action on their desires because they fear the potential for disappointment. When you believe there’s a limit to abundance and joy, you may avoid trying altogether. But when we shift from a world of lack to a world of abundance, we can remember that there’s more than enough to go around. Our work is all about alignment. Every practice in my book will help you tune in to the frequency that allows you to recognize all the abundance around you. When you’re tuned in to the energy of abundance, you become abundant.

BLOCK #3: COMPARING OURSELVES TO OTHERS

A big block to our Super Attractor power is when we compare ourselves to others. At some point we are all guilty of this behavior, and it’s understandable. All we have to do is open a social media app for a constant stream of opportunities to compare. Your inner voice of fear likes to use comparison to stop you from claiming what you desire. That fear-based voice wants to keep you “safe,” playing small and minimizing perceived risk. But you lose your power to attract when you compare. Your Super Attractor power comes from how you feel, your faith in love, and your joy. When you’re comparing, your focus isn’t on how you feel, your faith in love, or the happiness you emanate. Instead, your focus is on what you have or don’t have, all that you’re lacking, and all that you think you need in order to achieve. If your focus is on the outside, then you’ll constantly compare yourself to those who seem to have what you want.

BLOCK #4: THE NEED TO WIN AT THE EXPENSE OF HAVING FUN

The Universe is an all-inclusive stream of abundance, and there’s enough for everyone. When we become competitive, we cut off the stream of abundance. The fear of losing or the need to win is really another form of lack, one that implies scarcity. Many people pride themselves on their competitive nature, but it can create resistance. They make their happiness and sense of success dependent on “winning.” Even when it comes to “healthy competition,” a shift in perception can be very valuable. While some people may thrive in sports or business because of their competitive nature, I challenge you to consider a new idea. What if you shifted your focus off of the need to win and the fear of losing and onto how much fun the activity brings? This simple shift will put you into a state of joy, which inevitably brings far more success.

Competing at the expense of having fun is the opposite of letting go. If you need to win in order to feel good, happy, or successful, then competition only creates separation, judgment, attack, inner turmoil, and a belief in lack. When your happiness depends on the score, you’re sending a message to the Universe that you need to be “better” than someone else to feel good enough. That energy is never supported. I’m not saying to drop out of all competitive activities. Many people derive a lot of pleasure, joy, satisfaction, personal growth, and interpersonal bonding from competitive activities. What’s important is your answer to this question: How does competing make you feel? If the fear of losing perpetually looms in the back of your mind, and you feel joy only when you win — and that joy fades as you gear up for the next competition — then competition is a block to your Super Attractor power.

BLOCK #5: FEARING REJECTION

I’ve witnessed many people deny their dreams because of fear of rejection. The idea of being rejected can be paralyzing. Many of us have come to see rejection as a form of humiliation or defeat. However, there is another way to view it. I’ve learned to see rejection as a form of protection. I trust that when something doesn’t work out the way I planned, it’s because there’s something far greater in store for me.

Here is an example from my professional life. I had been presented with what seemed like a fantastic opportunity. I was really psyched as we contemplated an exciting plan. But the lawyers were taking a long time to negotiate every detail of the contract. New versions were constantly being drafted, but none of them seemed to incorporate our ideas or needs. Six months of negotiations went by, and in many ways I felt as if we were going backward! Frustrated by the situation, I decided to open up to seeing things differently. Instead of trying to make something that felt wrong work, I chose to see the situation as guidance from the Universe. When I took a step back, it became obvious to me that the issue was not the nitty-gritty elements of the deal; there was a fundamental lack of understanding as to what each side wanted. All the resistance we’d received along the way wasn’t rejection. It was guidance. We were being led to not do the deal. Two years later we look back on this offer and celebrate how it fell apart! I am grateful for the lawyers getting in the way, and we know that the Universe was just guiding us in the right direction.

Accepting rejection as guidance gives you another opportunity to follow the flow of the Universe and strengthen your faith in a plan better than your own. Most important, you’ll no longer fear rejection. Releasing that fear will give you the freedom to dream big, take fearless action, and let life lead you. Rejection can be the greatest guidance of all.

BLOCK #6: HAVING A NEED-MORE MENTALITY

Do you ever feel as though once you achieve a goal, you immediately have to move on to the next one? Not feeling complete in the moment of achievement, do you keep reaching toward the next goal? The need-more mentality is another form of lack. It suggests that you may be looking for something outside yourself to feel complete rather than trusting in your completeness now. The outside search for success, accomplishment, and approval is an addictive pattern that keeps us out of alignment with the Universe.

I lived with a need-more mentality for decades. I’d achieve one goal only to be immediately obsessed with the next. My husband worried that I never took time to celebrate my success or be really present in the moment. I was achieving because I believed in myself, but I wasn’t enjoying the journey. Let me pause here for a moment, because it’s important to point this out. If you believe in your ability to achieve your desires, then they will come into form. Having faith in your ability is important, but it’s far from the only important thing. If you’re not having fun along the way, then what’s the point? Ultimately, living with the need-more mentality blocks you from reaching your full potential.

BLOCK #7: THE FEAR OF BEING JUDGED

Another big block to your Super Attractor power is the emphasis on what others think. I’ve seen this block reveal itself in many of my friends and students. My students have big dreams of sharing their spiritual work with the world. They see themselves writing books, speaking on stages, and spreading empowering lessons in their own unique ways. But a fear of being judged holds them back. They tell me that their family and friends don’t believe in their career path or dreams. My response is, “The only reason they don’t believe in it is because you still don’t.” I help them to see how their lack mentality and disbelief are being mirrored back to them by others. Our vibes attract our tribe. Embodying an energy of lack and self-judgment sends out a message to others that we don’t feel good enough or worthy of what we desire. That energy can be felt miles away.

When you release your resistance, you will feel released by others. Recognize that other people’s judgments reveal the places where you lack faith. Every experience and encounter offers you guidance toward healing the lingering resistance that holds you back from being a Super Attractor. So rather than blaming others for resisting your dreams, thank them for showing you an opportunity for great growth and healing.

Lack, doubt, comparison, and insecurity stand in the way of attracting our desires. But there is a way through each of these blocks, as I describe in my book. Try these methods, and you’ll see for yourself how quickly you can move from an energy of lack to an energy of faith. There’s no reason for you to play small anymore. The Universe has big plans for you, and it’s time to claim them.

Excerpt from Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams. Reprinted with permission from Hay House.

is the No. 1 New York Times best-selling author of The Universe Has Your Back and has written five additional bestsellers. She was featured on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday as a “next-generation thought leader,” and the Oprah Winfrey Network chose Gabrielle to be part of the Super Soul 100, a dynamic group of 100 trailblazers whose vision and life’s work are bringing a higher level of consciousness to the world.

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