Pumping Irony
LATEST STORIES
PUMPING IRONY: Time for a Tune-Up?
Results of a new study threaten to upend decades of longevity research and perhaps require physicians to act more like car mechanics.
PUMPING IRONY: Stuff Happens
Mysterious aches and pain are always going to erupt as we grow older; it doesn’t mean we’re doomed to a future of frailty.
PUMPING IRONY: A Working Hypothesis
My path to retirement has long been littered with financial obstacles. Recent research suggests that may not be such a bad thing.
PUMPING IRONY: “Oh, You Shouldn’t Have!”
We were determined not to exchange Christmas gifts this year. Then reality intervened.
PUMPING IRONY: Pick Your Poison
Just as new research warns heart-healthy older folks that taking aspirin to prevent a heart attack could be fatal, another study suggests regular doses could fend off cancer. I just wish it would work when I get a headache.
PUMPING IRONY: Live Long and Suffer?
Because we’re all living longer lives, longevity visionaries suggest we need to rethink societal norms around aging. I have my doubts that social engineering is the answer.
PUMPING IRONY: Fumbled Friendships
Robust social connections are key to our well-being as we age, so should I worry that my circle of friends has been narrowing for years? Not so much.
PUMPING IRONY: Don’t Move!
Government attempts to curb falls in the hospital have limited mobility so much that elderly patients often head home in worse shape than when they arrived.
PUMPING IRONY: Not OK, Boomers
While some of my geezer contemporaries are taking offense at Generation Z’s campaign to blame us for the state of the world, I say bring it on.
PUMPING IRONY: Hear No Evil
There’s plenty of evidence showing that hearing loss can damage our quality of life as we grow older, but the senior set — including my brother — seems immune to the warnings.
PUMPING IRONY: Don’t Give It Another Thought
Conventional wisdom suggests that my lazy brain offers few benefits, but Harvard researchers believe it may be the key to a long life.
PUMPING IRONY: Money Keeps You Young?
Recent research suggests that frequent bouts of poverty prior to middle age may contribute to premature aging. If that’s the case, I should be sitting on death’s doorstep by now.
PUMPING IRONY: Bugged!
The alarming rise of drug-resistant superbugs in nursing homes is just another reason to do everything I can to maintain my good health and live out my days in my own home.
PUMPING IRONY: A Microbiome Miracle?
Recent research suggests that all frail seniors need to do to boost their strength — and maybe even reduce their waistlines — is to have the right combination of bacteria in their guts. I’d rather lift weights.
PUMPING IRONY: A Numbers Game: Diabetes
New guidelines seeking to address the healthcare industry’s overtreatment of elderly diabetics may encounter a skeptical audience: elderly diabetics.
PUMPING IRONY: Growing Old, Gaining Weight
A new study explains why we tend to gain weight as we age, even if our caloric intake and exercise regimens remain unchanged.
PUMPING IRONY: Hungry and Hopeless
A quiet epidemic of malnutrition has spread among the nation’s elderly, and Congress has only a few weeks to figure out how to respond.
PUMPING IRONY: A Healthy Pessimism?
Do optimists live longer than pessimists? Maybe, but I’m not the only one arguing that a middle way may yield healthier benefits.
PUMPING IRONY: No Home for the Unhealthy
An old friend faces a future with Parkinson’s and an eventual move to an assisted-living facility that, barring an industry shift, will probably offer no medical care.
PUMPING IRONY: Shock Treatment
Recent research suggests that a simple regimen of electrical stimulation may extend lifespan. I just wish it didn’t involve my ears.
PUMPING IRONY: This Is Your Brain on Drugs
For this drug-averse geezer, recent research suggesting that long-term use of certain pharmaceuticals may contribute to dementia makes me even less likely to follow my doctor’s advice.