Sometimes, the best is yet to be. That's what baby boomer and fashion model Cindy Joseph has discovered as she's grown older and wiser. Here, she shares the lessons she's learned.
I had so much to say about self-worth, self-love and compassion that it took two vlogs. Enjoy!
PART 1: Value and Attractiveness
PART 2: Self-Love and Compassion
What are some ways that you show yourself love and compassion? I would love to hear from you! –CJ
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Yes, it’s June, and I see that all of this
was written in April, BUT,
OMGosh, there’s SO much here, and I really want to respond
Where to begin?
First of all, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Thank-you, Cindy, for saying all of this. And thank-you, all you beautiful women
for commenting!
We all live with this negative stuff and adopt it as if it’s the “truth”….. it’s NOT! these (negative commentaries about ourselves) are beliefs, practiced thoughts, which suck the yummy juice of our life from us……..
WE can change them ….. yea, it takes effort, a lot of effort…. for me, often enormous effort….., but it’s SOOOO worth it! (and btw, I had very similar criticisms of myself when I was 20! It’s not like they came with getting older…. they’ve always been there, in some form or other, alas!)
Recently, I’ve made it my number one “goal” to notice (as much as I can) when
I’m feeling less than “ok.” Aaaaand when that’s the case, I stop (this takes practice)
and attend to it. I’ll probe to find out —- what was I thinking/feeling that has me
unhappy? And it’s ALWAYS some negative thought – I’m “defective” in some way… I’m
not good enough, accomplished enough, loved enough, pretty enough, thin enough,
young enough,
……. the list goes on, if I allow it to.
And I’ll do something about it…. I have a toolkit of ways to make myself feel
better….. I’ll be stubborn about it… I’ll go on until I feel better!
I proven to myself that what I think about grows, and gives birth to more similar thoughts,….and that thought is powerful stuff,… it attracts, it creates…..
so I want the good to grow!
When I’m feeling better, happier, I don’t care about all that other stuff…. it seems soooo
unimportant….. I’m so very tired of having my worth be determined by others….
also, it’s not like these “others” agree on what is desirable…. and what’s “desirable”
changes very quickly with time……
I discover that really really, at the core, I just want to be truly alive…. appreciative…. having fun… loving…… doing what I love… being with whom I love…..
I want to be me!!!! And I want others to be their true selves, so that I can enjoy them, as they truly are! That trumps everything!
warmest hugs to all of you…….
I can’t begin to tell you how much the ‘self-love and compassion’ video meant to me today. I have struggled with self-esteem most of my life. I am now 51 years of age and although I am much more confident now than when I was younger, I still have to remind myself to ‘play nice’. You mentioned in this video or another that as you age, you can learn to love and accept yourself for who you really are and I believe that is one of the most profound and healthiest statements a woman can hear. I’ve done it all. I was a slave to my hair for over 15 years, starting off with blonde highlights, that, eventually, looked as if I had dipped my head in a bucket of Clorox. I also had a breast implant surgery that I lived with for 17 years and regretted from day one but could not afford to have removed until last summer. I love my small breasts. It’s what God gave me. Although I feel I am extremely loving and supporting to my family and conscientious of how important it is to build character from the inside out, for the last few days I’ve been waging war with myself and my appearance. Today, I intentionally searched you out. Your openness and honesty has been a great source of comfort to me. You are a beautiful person inside and out I love your vlogs! It’s a friendly reminder to us all that we are not alone with our thoughts. Thank you and please keep them coming.
Thank you Cindy…spot on!
Cindy, I love this. I so agree about trying to let the self-judgement go…As I get older I try to do this and you are right: it works! And I love what you say about attractiveness as we get older. I do find those who enjoy their lives and shine and have a sense of purpose and satisfaction have true beauty–which often does not fit the classic definition of a beautiful woman in our society. So thank you much for saying this. Am enjoying your Vlog: look forward to your next installlment…
Wow! The self-criticism video, is so true. Even if we are careful of criticism with others, we are so hard on ourselves! I think I have beat myself up so many times. Maybe not so much about my looks, but decisions or choices I have made. With aging, I am discovering that nothing is more important than “Self-care”!!
Keep up the good work. I am enjoying the video-blog or is that a VLOG?
KJJ
First of all, I just want to say how inspiring your message is and how absolutely beautiful you are. I decided last fall to grow out my natural color (now silver) and let go of the dyed blonde hair. I only have about 4 inches of the new growth and was thinking that I’d like to do some platinum highlights to brighten up the silver. So I began looking for some information on the web. I found a YouTube on you and was thoroughly inspired.
It’ll be quite some time before I can cut off the last of my dyed hair, so I’m living with part silver/part gold. It’s an interesting combination.
But my point in writing is to answer your question. I feel like I’ve made progress when I’m criticizing myself, if I realize what I’m doing while I’m doing it. It’s like I tap into a place of higher consciousness and suddenly become aware of this little game I’m playing that diminishes me. I can either watch myself continue with the negativity or with my new, higher vantage point, choose to stop “beating myself up” and focus on the positive–what is wonderful about me, what is beautiful, what is loving. This practice can instantly transform the situation but requires awareness and a commitment to being as fully present in the moment as possible. I guess it’s what’s called practicing presence.